Day 30...Final Stretch...Queen's Day - Hague - DNH

Morning all...sitting now in a Hasher's pad, Virgin's Dream in the Hague after a 'heavy' (for some)night..Red Dress Run followed by a disjointed circle (bring back CSM all is forgiven) and off to the ONInn for more Beer...found a local NAB called Amstel MALT... less than 0.1% Alcohol..W&R told me that this was the stuff she got fed as a child..very strange retro stuff..Weather was pleasant but has changed for the worse..

Neptunus appeared late after trashing his car, buying a new one and trying desperately to get beer to the DNH venue...I don't care as long as there's beer by midnight..

Quick shower, off to get some breakfast to repare for the final stretch...a long Month but enjoyable in a strange way...

ONON to a Not so sober TT (ther clock's ticking...only 14 hours and 15 minutes to go...)

Day 28 & 29 ..Wednesday & Thursday ...DNH Prelube

Wednesday was a bit of a non-event...work...r*n...cooking dinner (it has been noted by W&R that I've done more chef-stuff since I've been off the pop..)..watching the 'Special One's' Italian Nancy boys put up a 'San Siro Wall' to keep out the baying Catalan Grease Monkeys (all Mediterranean footballers have long, girl-like, slicked-back barnets)...ONON to the proper German foot-soldiers of FC Bayern...

Early (12:00) to bed as I haven't packed (W&R is all done, typical Girl..) and things to do including this double header..For the next Blog (Monday) will be a hazy round-up of the booze-filled weekend...ZZZZ

Up early to get a few things work things done before heading off to Holland (DutchNashHash)...Decided on a cheap(er) flight via EastJet from Basel...probably a bad move..Got a Red Dress R*n tonight...chance to show off my new costume.. Good luck to Haggi and the ZH3 crew who are holding the first Thursday Hash tonight..

ONON till Monday ( a still sober) TT

Day 27...B.i.T.CH

Ongoing email issues resolved for now...looks like I've been under Cyber-attack from multiple fronts...this final stretch is tough and I'm getting grouchy...

Really great evening weather for the B.i.T.CH R*n last night...FishF*cks showed setting a Live Trail can work (note MS) and we had a very enjoyable 10k in and about Altstetten....great to see Africa as an FRB...

Back to the ONInn and they had no cold NABs..didn't fancy water so I slopped-off..Mr. Grumpy...Had a pizza in Kusnacht and watched my team, FC Bayern whip the weak-wristed, garlic boys from Lyon...Hope they get 'The Special One' in the final and kick him where it hurts straight back to Setúbal (that's in Portugal, I looked it up :-))...

Checked some mails; J.Joe fighting the vagaries of the MeetUp site and my French (them again..) work colleagues f*cking up yet another project...time to get the large 'shoeing' stick out...I don't believe in the carrot approach...

Off for some ZZs about midnight..

ONON

TT

Day 26...Monday

Start of the final week...early start...private email working again (for 2 hours :-()..Off to pick-up my bike from the weekend..Horror...W&R's bike has gone walkies..they stole her 10 year old veteran and left my 1 year old speedster...strange life..

Off to the Nelson for a bucket of Chicken Wings then the Twist..Impromptu Hash meeting..where are all the people? An auspicious start...lots of talk...great ideas...BlackUdder in with a baptism of fire...A Thursday Hare falls by the wayside..Bored with NABs and drinking water..

Back by 11:00 and an early retirement..

ONON

TT

Day 25...Sunday...The Final Weekend...

The day's not over yet but drawing to a close...Up and about early watching some politics cr*p on TV..W&R says my hearing is impaired...The TV wakes her up...she says it's time to book an appointment with the ear doc...probably right..

Over to CSM's and BU's for brunch... A little late...kids and ginies everywhere...a great spread...everyone's tucking into champers and wine..I'm on orange juice and coffee...Black Banana decides that ridding her bike is not a good move..CSM snoozing on the sofa by 3:00...time to split..

W&R in the garden...Livio asleep...it's hard being a teenager (must be fun)...decide to test the knee with a bit of up...1.5 hours later and I struggle back from a r*n...hashing is definitely a better bet...light supper...onward to the final week...

ONON

TT

Day 24 Saturday....A sunny day in Zuri..

Early start...bumbling about the apartment...Ros dragged me out on the bike to go for a ride to the flea-market...puncture before 2k..had to leave the bike at Tiefenbrunnen (it's still there!)..followed Ros around the market looking at tut (that's cr*p)..she bought some stuff..we managed to kill about 3 hours..nice weather though..

Went to the cinema and saw Shutter Island...weird film...worth having a few drinks before hand...back home by 11.00...W&R asleep on the sofa...watching late night Footie and Predator 2 for the 3rd time...Wow this life's interesting...

Bed at 3:00...

ONON

TT

Day 23 Friday ...St. George's Day...

An unremarkable day..work...W&R coming home early from a School trip...didn't have the motivation to go out last night. Cr*p TV, a good book...Bed...what a life...

ONON

TT

Day 22...Very Thirsty Thursday...

Entering the final stretch...Thirsty but saving a few pennies...hearing various stories about The Euro Cup footie followers barely surviving two days of late night beer-fueled games makes me a little more cheery :-)

My personal email down for 2.5 days now and no resolution in sight...if you have sent me a mail, you may have to wait for a response...normal IT geeks, no idea of reality, a deficit of practical brain cells..all techno-babble and no real action...we live in hope..

Quiet night, a few NABs and some boring politically biased TV...thankfully I've got a dodgy internet site(s) that shows all the sport in HD :-) Not that I'm against Liverpool but great to see Benitez getting stuck like a pig..it's that weaselly goatie that gets up my nose...

Friday ahead and it's St. George's Day...Hurrah...Time to wave the Flag...could be a few sly ones downed later...

ONON to the final weekend...

TT

Day 21...A Trek Cross-Country...

Extremely long night/morning....normal drudgery over the day and off to Neuchâtel at 5:00 for the Bern Hash...Everything on track, arrival on time and TailGate b*tching (there's a change) about the cost of parking at the station..

HoverCr*p setting a challenging evening trail..lots of up and yours truly testing out my dodgy knee with a long 'brace-less' stretch..Beer stop with water (not the same) and a scenic r*n in via the botanical garden...

Lot's of French-speaking Virgins in the Circle and a few NABs to brave the arctic, windy conditions. Quick pizza and off on the 10:27 back to Zurich...so far so good..

Train was 15 minutes late so missed my connection and got back home at 12:45...Livio aka David-Cop-A-Feel (who now lives with us) decided to lock the door leaving the key in the lock and proceeded to put his headset on and start gaming obliviously...

1 hour later after phoning every mobile/home phone and buzzing the door the whole house was awake other than W&R...finally Livio had a break and I was in...not sure how our 'not-so-friendly' neighbors are going to react..? Anyway sh*t happens...off to brave another day...

ONON

TT

Day 20...Tuesday...Time Travel..

Jumping from day 18 to 20 in a heartbeat...just like Dr. Who..

The last 3rd...Is this like an M-word where you hit the wall at 20 miles?..Guess I'll find out over the next few days...

Good old European Air-traffic-control or was it just the renewed volcanic spurting resulted in my flight being canceled at the last minute...so I remain firmly in CH for the next week or so..may see HoverCr*p after all tomorrow..

Good night if you're Italian with the 'Special' One weaving his magic by Inter thumping the Euro-champs 3-1. Just finishing a chapter of FX for Dummies...How many £s do I get for 24 Indonesian Rupiah?...apparently 24 x 7.22045144 x 10 to-the-power -of-minus 5 £....work that out!

A few NABs later and I don't care...Checking out the TV...AH...Everywhere I look at the moment it's sweaties..(that's Jocks/Scots...you know...the one's who sound like their talking through tin cans) Gordon Brown, the SNP, Haggi our new GM...when will it stop? Time to go on holiday...sorry I forgot, no planes...better get the paddle boat out..

Definitely time for a few ZZs..

ONON

TT

Interesting...

Just realised that it's the 19th of April and my Blogs read Day 18...

Amazing even when you're sober you miss a few days...

ONON

TT

Day 18..Monday...ZH3 Hash...

Mondays are a killer...a whole week of work slog...The Swissies are all off this afternoon for sexy-something-or-other...finished early to lay some cunning 'Baldrick-type' plans with our new GM, Haggi...We weren't too productive as we had just had the bad news about a Hash friend, The Wolf, who passed away on trail this weekend...may he rest-in-peace..

Great trail by W&R, good group of 17 Hashers and a thoroughly enjoyable evening. Half-a-dozen NABs and off to bed late as I'm still typing this sh*t...

Unfortunately the Volcanic Ash Clouds have lifted so I've got no excuse not to fly to the UK tomorrow early :-(

Will miss HoverCrap's return and trail in Neuchâtel on Wednesday. I'm sure it will be a good one...anyway must dash..a few ZZs and up bright and early...thankfully I'm sober as the proverbial and will have to be to be up with the larks...

ONON to another day in purgatory...

TT

Day 17...Sunday...a quiet relief..

Lazy Sunday...W&R in the Garden...catching up on some mails and general cr*p...the day went fast...off to bed early...tomorrow's another week...

ONON

TT

Day 16..Saturday.. A Long Hash Day...

Up at 07:00. SMS'd the Co-hare for the Hash...silence..I guess he's still in the land of nod...Arrived at the Hash start at 09:15 and started the Trail/Beer-stop/Hash Circle beer bit...barely managed to finish before the start as I got back @ 13:55!

Long afternoon..lost Haggi on trail...he was in the pub watching the end of the ManU vs. ManC clash...Africa and GreenGrocer soldered on the main trail, avoiding the short-cuts and amazingly arrived at the Beer-stop only 15 minutes after the main pack...just shows how slow everyone was..Yours truly and MealTicket used an alternative method back and the Circle commenced eventually..

Well done to BlackUdder who did a sterling job of trying to control the normal unruly bunch..

Noisy, actively debated AGM. Haggi the new GM and a mix of experience and youth for the new team. We wish them all the best and a bit of luck...

An evening of NABs...retired at 10:30...off to watch the rerun of the footie before bed...

Ready for tomorrow's holiday (for some) and the Not-so-Sexy Hash...

ONON

TT

Day 15...Friday...Half-way-House...

An early start (07:00)...15 days in and just barely alive...to hell and on the slow trudge back....This no alcohol bit is BAD for your health...a week of flu symptoms and general lethargy..not sure how I'm going to cope with laying the Trail-from-hell today...Ah! I have a secret co-hare, press-ganged from the pub last night...amazing what a few drinks will do to loosen one's sanity...

Friday in the Twist & and the Zeughauskeller (a first)...picked up a gin-and-tonic filled W&R at 6:00...she was 'away with the fairies' already...A few NABs and a great meal...must go again...back late and fiddled with my dying laptop...time to invest me thinks...Good luck to the overachievers in Vienna..

Onwards to my farewell Hash as ZH3 GM...New Blood (and tears)...Time to retire to the back benches to 'bitch' like the rest of the bunch...

Today's Blog should be a 'Special One' (that's not a reference to Inter's poofy boss)..looking forward to watching the Hashers struggle with the Trail from the depths of Hash-Hell...

ONON

TT

Day 15...Thursday...ZH3 Saturday Trail Recon

It's (was) Thursday...rushing about to get work finished early and tidy the apartment bombshell after the previous night...Met Swanny, the owner of Galinha's, the ONInn for Saturday just after 3:00..He's ready for a BIG night Saturday..Start the recon on a 'new' trail for Saturday...very short...very hilly...(which one do you believe?)

Finished the recon about 6:30 with a panache (NAB) at a 'Tomato' Cafe in Seebach and headed back home with a roadie..

1st UK Prime-ministerial debate on-the-box was a letdown..should have watched a rerun of Eastenders it would have been more interesting..who cares anyway..

Off to bed late-ish with a vastly depleted supply of NAB...no calorie counting done here...

ONON

TT

Day 14...Pre-AGM Gathering

Plodding along at a slow rate...SH3 invading our 'patch' on Friday causing a flurry of emotion..a rethink on the Saturday trail..just wait until I get my hands on that RentBoy...

Meeting up with a few 'overachievers', r*nning the Vienna M. & 1/2 M. this weekend as a Pre-AGM discussion. Potential 'volunteers' dragged forward (ratification and voting at the 'official AGM); BlackUdder as HareRaiser, W&R as a new Habberdasherer, CSM as the WebSlave, FingerDay as Hash Stats, Just Kirsten as HashCash/Treasurer, TT as HashPromo, a proposed R* Team - RA, RB, RC..., CSM & W&R as SongMeisters. Open positions, AGM/OnSec & GM. Everything open, ready for Saturday....

A lively debate with BodyGlide bringing his posse and a very tempting 6 pack of Heini..Fingerday and W&R polishing off all the Red, CSM & BU doing the same with the White...yours truly suffering from DTs and sipping NAB slowly..then out comes the Limoncello...the conversation reaches even lower depths..time to go home.

Off tomorrow (today) to rescout the Saturday trail...it's raining and miserable, just how I feel today..just another 16 days to go...

ONON

TT

Day 13...B.i.T.CH Tuesday

It's Tuesday and BlackUdder is setting a r*n for Tuesday's R*nning Club....Nice trail including some 'old' kiddie tracks and a Bus No.94 back to Oerlikon (always wondered where the '94 came from...)

Searched in vain for a NAB supplier...Coconut juice and a pleasant Szechuan chicken. Back home early with W&R to catch up on some ZZZs...

ONON

TT

Day 12...Monday..The start of another week...

Monday morning blues...weather has changed..it's Winter again, 3 degrees at 9:00am and a chill wind...day of emails...meetings and a 'devil' virus picked up from W&R..

Quick meet down the Nelson (too nosy), move to the Twist and involves having the p*ss taken by the local staff as I'm on NABs..Revenge beckons...

Jumbo Cordon Bleu, 11:15 train and bed...

ONON

TT

Day 11...Lazy Sunday

Not a lot to report...The day of the underdog, Portsmouth triumphing over the Spurs...maybe the Brit will vanquish the American superstars? Or is it the charge of the Asian Dragon at the Masters...who knows...9 holes to go..

Cold NAB in hand, headset in place..W&R already tucked in...another week of battling with the demons...

ONON

TT

Day 10...Basel H3...

A bright start to the day...W&R off to Engelberg to test the snow and my good self to test the resolve again at the Basel Hash..Strange start to the day with an early text (7:15)from a hungover (what's that like?) Haggi desperate to understand the vagaries of the Swiss Train and Banking System..very strange :-)

On the Way to Flüh with Haggi at midday without the comfort of a few pre-Hash beers. Met a virgin Harriet on the Tram...Haggi in there like flynn (no change there), her relative youth and naivety like a magnet..where's Sweet Cheeks when you need her?

The Hash; Dick-a-lone huffing and puffing up the first 1k slight incline...new Virgins FRBing (I've got a dodgy knee and lacking energy thro' deprivation of appropriate sustenance), MeanStreak (MS) trying to short-cut and getting lost (no change there..just avoid his trails like the black-death)..A beer stop without beer (for me)...MS trying to chat up the new virgin harriets.. A Merc driver trying to play roadkill with the hash puppies...great scenic view from the castle top...crossed trail(to MealTicket & GoatMounter's credit a fine example of the art of trail setting...)...Circle

Circle; Normal Sh*t, Ballerina trying to control an unruly circle, Mausi and MS loitering on the periphery..yours truly having to buy my own circle non-alcho beer (CHF4/0.33l)...Dick-a-lone (DL) still too tight to contribute to the Charity Abstinence..

ONInn; Hash Rosti variations...MT (Red) & Haggi (White) drinking bottle after bottle of vino..MS blabbing on about 'cultural' things (the virgin harriets had left)...DL complaining that the food was not good northern fare (whatever that is)..dragged Haggi out at 9:00 kicking & streaming...

ONafter; Off to see Welsh John (x-Twist manager in Zuri) at RedRocks...Bouncer's at the door not letting us in due to Haggi wearing InterHash multicolored/patterned pants..blagged our way in...John still on the p*ss, ordered yet more vino for Haggi and a NAB (Non-Alcho Beer) for myself...from the horizon of the bar, full of Basel trendies comes a vision..a swaying MealTicket, a man with a late pass...tottering to the bar and yet another bucket of red...John arrives and swiftly pledges CHF20 to the cause (NB DL) and buys the Hashers yet another drink...the experience gets too much for Haggi, lots of big breasted, slim-hipped beauties (that was just the blokes).. we decide to retire hurt..MT stays nursing his bucket of red, waiting for the elderly crowd to arrive..

Trip home; Haggi takes a 'roadie' of 1/2 litre of white, cappuccino for moi...late night train...Bed...

ONON

TT

Day 9

Long day catching up with mails and avoiding a bored MooseDiver from his Hospital Bed in Schaffhausen (Get better soon :-))..Don't worry it's just old age, Hashing and years of drinking Guinness have caused his knee to give up the ghost...

Finished about 07:00 and went to the fridge for a beer..whoops....not quite...my secret stash of Alcho-free stuff was well positioned in front of the real stuff...

Great to see the Brits leading the field at the Masters but providence says that the Tiger lies a-waiting...Another Hash in Basel to overcome, hope they have some decent stuff at the circle to down-down...

This is certainly saving ££ but I'm starting to realise that life without beer/wine is a pauper's life. I think for next week's Hash I'm going to set the trail from Hell just to get some evil satisfaction...looking forward to the AGM...A few surprises for the ZH3 MisManagement I think...

ONON

TT

Day 8..back to CH...

Uneventful trip back to Switzerland..lovely home cooking with a steak dinner...really missed a good glass of red :-(....nothing much to report...getting ready to face another dry weekend and the BH3 Hash. At least I'm going to give DickAlone a hard time over his attempt to go January dry...he lasted two days...typical weak-wrist'd northerner...

ONON

TT

Day 7...A whole Week!!

A week passes....not a lot to report unless your a ManU supporter...good to see footy equilibrium restored with the Germans (my old team, Bayern Munich triumphing :-)) putting us Brits to the sword...

Off back to sunny Schweitz this morning...looking forward to taking some cash from the tight b*rstards at BH3 on Saturday..

ONON

TT

Day 6 ...a rainy day in Istanbul

Rain...rain...and more rain. Well the plan to jet to Turkey for some bright sunshine went south, a day of meetings starting late (there's a surprise) and dodgy internet connections...welcome to the developed world. Tried to get out to the main city last night to try out temptation failed..stuck in the Hotel with cr*p food and no way to see Messi rip Arsenal appart (:-)), never really liked that smug Wenger...

Nothing more to add...on track but on days like this a beer would have been a pleasant relief...

onon

TT

Day 5...Efes Hell..Istanbul

The plan was to keep a low profile unfortunately like all badly thought plans it goes to sh*t..traveling today to the home of one of my favorite beers, Efes was not a good move..the question posed was "Can I get away with it?" Well I'm not a great liar so I'd probably blab and I really should have enough will power to last a measly 30 days...anyway water and tea...solely tempted but the devil was vanquished for another day :-)

Stuck in a hotel overlooking an 8 lane highway so picturesque...nice meal of Chicken with salad, 2 x waters, and a tea for a whopping CHF5...Hope today's Hash went well..I'm sure I'll find out in due course..

Checking out the extensive Pay-per-View menu...There's always a vice awaiting...

ONON

TT

Day 4..

Up and about early..got to fly to Istanbul later...a sly break :-)

Interesting evening last night at Marta's (Black Banana) ; A veritable concoction of Hash faces and civilians (mostly Spanish speaking types with the odd Swissy thrown in). Great food from BB with help from ChainSaw's Green Pesto (I'm sure there was an extra ingredient or 2...). Given the liberal amount of wine flowing the conversation (mainly driven by Haggi's insatiable focus on s*x, obviously he's developing extreme callouses on his primary hand..) slid downwards towards such topics as Mail-order Thai Orphan Brides (My copyright), John's (he was one of the civilians) seafaring trips (mainly to strange exotic locations) in search of 'company' (probably male)...Chainsaw's new ideas on 'enhanced' Hash drinks (interesting idea, watch out BerZuBa..) ..

All in all a pleasant evening...I even got to try (for the first time) a couple of Clausthalers (they're alcohol free beer) and I confess, to my shame that they were ok (?!).

Anyway, day 5 beckons, apparently the Efes is already on ice....

Day 3..I think...

Saturday, Easter Weekend....most people are out and about..dragged shopping in Singen...smuggled a ton of German produce over the border...border guards checking all the foreigners..not sure how I escaped, must have been the vacant, sober expression on my face as I hid my head in a book on derivatives (very complex sh*t, definitely something worth reading when totally tanked...)

Lazy afternoon, could have done with a beer or two as W&R pottered in the Garden...oh well...

Tea and roast lamb for dinner...early to bed after a cr*p DVD about an Aussie loser who decides he's Dirty Harry...Sunday is Easter :-) and a dinner party tomorrow (today)..let's see how the will power copes...

Day 2...Post SH3 75th R*n...

This is tough...SH3 75th Hash: Constant offers of various forms of the devil drink from MooseDiver during the Hash, a never ending Circle of Ice, bare sweaty ar*es, Harriets who have 'given up' smoking b*mming fags, down-downs of sparkling fake orange juice, overindulgence in Hash Snacks (noway based on this that the weight is coming off), Chainsaw M. and Black-Udder suffering from an overdose of pre-hash S*x and Pizzas, Chainsaw promising a 'short' Circle...it lasted about 2 hours...give or take the 20+ minutes of Haggi antics (can we get rid of him again for a couple of years?) and finally seated opposite my Hash Wine Drinking Buddy, Mealticket waving a large drink of Red in my face...absolute hell....Then for the ONAfter...Champs...ahhh

The only way you can survive Champs is to be totally P*ssed...trust me sober is definitely a no go...drunk aggressive teenage eastern Europeans (I'm not racist but they are a right pain in the a*se), Black-Udder and Wet & Ready drinking buckets of Tequila cocktails, emotional waitresses who forget that you paid them, The SH3 Posse downing pint-after-pint of Guinness... and all I have to confront this is a few pints of iced water (with lemon)....at least it was cheap...anyway here's to another sober day...onon TT

Day 1...

Just coming up to 8:00..time for a beer..not quite! Given Haggi's homecoming beer on Tuesday has been enough to keep me quiet for a few days so all's well so far...ready to tackle the SH3 75th tomorrow...that will be a challenge...off for my cocoa and muffins...

ONON

TT